Crime and Punishment: Personal Reflection

Dostoevesky's Crime and Punishment is unlike anything I've ever read. I'm a seventeen year old, if it had not been for this ENG3U class, there is a good chance I would have never read this novel. But, I now know that would have been a mistake. Crime and Punishment challenged me, in more ways than one. The first way it challenged me was the way it was written in. It wasn't difficult in the thick way Shakespeare is difficult, it was difficult because it seemed every page had two or three words I had to look the meaning up of, and then go back and read those pages again to really understand what happened in what I just read. Another way this novel challenged me was the content, and the story. I chose this novel because of the title. When I looked up what this novel was about I knew it was something I would like to read. But, what I didn't know is how far Crime and Punishment would push me. Dostoevesky made Crime and Punishment relateable so it got very difficult to keep reading because first of all I felt like Rasknolikov could be anyone I know, and second because I just knew what was going to happen, and it wasn't good. The third way this novel challenged me was just getting through the long chapters. I found it difficult to keep my focus on what was happening in some chapters because I wanted to find out what was going to happen next, and some exciting parts were followed by the rest of the chapter which wasn't as exciting, and made it difficult to not skip ahead to find out what was going to happen. But, with all of that said, I know I have gained a lot since reading this book. I already said I probably wouldn't have read this book had it not been for English class, but I would have missed on a major part of literature, as well as a rich learning experience. Crime and Punishment made me think about the story, to the point where I would have to read sections two or three times to get an understanding of what was happening. That has helped broaden my horizons when it comes to literature as well. Now, having read  Crime and  Punishment I won't be as hesitant to pick up another novel like this one.

Having a public audience didn't affect my writing at all. I wrote the same way I would have if I would have had to write every blog entry down and hand in a hard copy. My blog is out there to read, and I wasn't going to change the way I write, or what I write because a wider audience may, or may not see it. 

More than ever, from reading Crime and Punishment I have learned the old cliché holds true: we are only human. Raskolnikov was pushed to edge, and he reacted in an outrageous way. We as humans can only take so much. The nature vs nurture debate comes into play here. Although both sides of that argument have an effect on human development the nurture side has a bigger impact on a person and that is made obvious in Crime and Punishment. Reading this novel also showed me everyone needs to crucial things in their life: stability and security. Rasknolikov had neither one of these things which I know contributed to the person he was/became in the story. To most Canadians stability and security are taken for granted, but to someone who doesn't know the meaning of either those missing components are detrimental.

As a reader, I've learned I have to be patient with myself. It really irritated me when I didn't know the meanings of so many different words, but in all fairness to myself, if I'd never seen them before, I don't know how I was supposed to know what they meant. I also learned to be a little more open minded. Not to judge a book by it's cover because sometimes you'll be surprised,  because even though I thought I would like this novel, I didn't think I'd like it as much as I do. Overall, I learned books like Crime and Punishment are classics for a reason, and they're all worth a shot, and if I took the time to sit down and read them, I'd grow as a student, and expand my knowledge to make myself a better learner.